I haven’t shared the news with a lot of people yet, but I am officially engaged! My family does already know about how myself and my boyfriend plan on getting married but not many people know about the engagement itself, which just took place over the weekend. ♥️
I am under the impression that not many people read this blog so I felt like writing here. I don’t mind if anyone is reading this. I understand that this is on the internet, but since I know there isn’t much traffic, I felt comfortable talking about my thoughts on marriage and the wedding.
Before meeting this person I was indifferent to marriage. It never came up at all in my previous relationships. It’s not something I thought much about. I am not sure why that is the case. What I do know is, when my boyfriend first brought up the subject… he seemed very genuine and determined (he still does!) and this brought on a new dimension of how I could feel for someone. It’s also very flattering. It does feel great to have a man be this open and transparent about his commitment to you for life. I should note that this topic started early on, so for most of our relationship… the idea of being seriously committed was baked in the foundation and set the stage.
Now, of course, you don’t have to get married to show commitment to someone but I now have an appreciation for the idea… the symbolism, and gesture. This isn’t to downplay anyone’s previous commitment to me but I feel as though, especially now that I am older, that this is extra special. I see it all in a new light.
One thing I am not really on board with though is having a wedding. I would have preferred to elope. But now that the family knows, with some of the responses, it seems as though we will have to have a wedding of some kind… for them. I know that at the end of the day this is my decision (ours) but I feel like because getting married is the union of two families… that they should be involved in some way.
After the eloping idea was tabled, the idea was to get married at the courthouse (or wherever!) and our family could come, if they wish… But.. that ends up being a wedding, doesn’t it?
Why don’t I want to have a wedding? I am not interested in having that much attention, honestly. Weddings are bride-focused. I suppose they don’t have to be but all eyes, at some point, go on the bride.
Another reason… Even though, my fiance and I are guilty of regular PDA. I don’t like the idea of having a bunch of people watch us kiss. I know, it’s just a kiss… but that being the center of attention and people clapping is not appealing to me!
Weddings are costly. Again, another point where it doesn’t have to be the case.. but I find even just something small could be costly. I’d want everyone to have good quality food at the very least…
One other idea I had was still eloping BUT have a reception of some kind at a later date. The families could meet then, but it seems as though some family want to be present for the exact moment of union… So, I guess that idea is tabled too.
By the way, this is by no means to criticize anyone including family. I understand their point of view. It isn’t wrong.
Anyway, I am still unsure of how to proceed here but there is no rush and I will continue to think about it.
Thanks for reading.